Meeting my Mother 20 years after Leaving

Tears rolled down her face as she recalls to me her agonizing times from her own relatives. The world is small— we have just met after almost 20 years when she left us to my father together with my two siblings.

My Mother broke down to tears telling me about her life, her painful life experiences with her own family. I was moved and shared tears with her as she recalls about her hard times from her own relatives. We have just met, after almost 20 years when she left us to my father together with my two siblings. It was the greatest day of my life, the 2nd of February 2016.

It was a busy Tuesday in Pasay City, I was rushing to catch my 9:00 time in for my work as an IT Specialist. I saw the shuttle service and immediately alight the jeepney so I would not run as fast as I could going to the office when I receive a text message from my uncle saying, "Call me! Just an important thing!"

There's a whole lot of things rushing to my mind what is this important thing and why should I call them this early morning. I am thinking everything like an accident or some bad news about them there in the province, but I didn't panic and calmly called my uncle and said, “Hello uncle, Good morning. What's up there?” which he then replied “I got your Nanay's number! We've just got her contact from our uncle”

I wasn't able to make any remarks, rather said to him to forward that number to me, and thank him and bid goodbye as the shuttle drove to the office.

I was shaking and don't exactly know what to do. My hands got sweat and phone is wet. I let some time pass to calm myself and think about the next thing to do.

Although I was already prepared and have already made my mind about this moment, but the feeling is strange and just overwhelming. That time, I know that I was happy, that the time has come for me to face the reality, the reality that my mother is still alive and I still have the chance to meet the woman who gave me life.

I have already accepted the notion that I wouldn’t be able to see her forever. In fact, I would jokingly tell people that, “baka nalunod na 'yon sa baha ng bagyong Ondoy” because we know that she is here when that storm devastated Metro Manila, and given the fact that she didn't reach out during that long period of time and with the technology we have now.

It took me a little while deciding what should I do first, should I call her or just simply send a text message first, but it's kind of awkward to call her immediately so I decided to send her a text message first asking if she were "Maribel"--my Mother's name. She didn't answered Yes or No but rather asked who I am. I asked again if she knew someone stating my name which she responded “Why?” that was the start of the long conversation which eventually leads her to call me.

“Hello, kumusta?” she said. I couldn’t say a word but hello so I went outside and listen to her. Later on I texted her that I am on-duty and wouldn't be able to answer her calls and told her to just text me. I told her we've been longing to see her with my siblings and told her “Sana magpakita kana” because I thought she wouldn't bother to see us. “Just see me here in Mall of Asia and I would immediately go out and take an absence or under time when you're here” which she responded, “Yes I will go and see you. We have a lot of things to talk to.”

I was skeptical about the meetup, but I should not miss this moment because if I am not going to let this happen, she might feel we don't need her and would refuse for any chances of our dream to meet her.

She reached MOA and asked where am I which I said I was still on-duty and can't immediately go out. She decided to go to the building where I was working which I opposed and said she just stay in the mall and I would just see her there because I don't want to cause any commotion there if ever she'd cry or what. But she was there already so I couldn't do anything but meet her there outside our building.

It was an awkward moment. I recognized her immediately because she really look like my aunt so I know she really was my Mom, my Nanay. When she saw me, she just approached and we walked going to the mall. She didn't cry or hug me. So we just talk a bit.

To make the story short, we went to McDonald's MOA and talk a lot of things, which made me conclude she really was the woman I have been longing to see for almost two decades.

I was moved when I heared the things that explains her absence for so many years. But for me, no need for explanations, I have her and I saw her now, and I have been open for this time to come. The wounds had already been sealed by time making that past just a part of the story which has made me who I am today. There is no regret or any hurt feelings for my mother because I have already accepted it long ago.

My classmates asked me once if I would accept my mother if I see her which I answered, "Yes! Why not? Even though she left us and let us experienced the hardships of life, I would still love to see her because if not her, if she didn't left us, I may not be as successful as I am today." She was a blessing in disguise for me.

My tears run down my face telling my mother I was successful and survived life without her. That I finished grade school and high school as valedictorian, that I was a scholar and studied at a prestigious university with the help of people who aren't even our relatives, that I finish my course as the only Cum Laude of my College, and that I was a working student since grade 5 until I finished my degree despite being left behind with my father as he marry again, and with my siblings turned to my aunts and studied with their expense. I was alone and felt rejected, being left behind by circumstances. The life was really hard.

It was truly hard growing without a mother. It was painful to be scolded by the people who aren't your relatives or parents, but I had to endure that because that is the only way to go on to life, to leap off the hurdle that pins us down, always putting in mind that there is an end to this hurdles if I would just persevere, and I know that I wouldn't endure this forever. That was the principle which keep me going and taught me to hold on and keep fighting.

"Good for you nak, just do not forget these people who have helped you because I too here seek refuge to people, who are not even our relatives," she said.

I really am thankful for the people behind me, and would forever be grateful having them, the people who are also happy and proud that I have succeeded in life, and in reaching the impossible dream of seeing my mother.

Love your parents no matter what, because if not them, you are not here breathing today. Forgive, but never forget the story that made you and defines who you are. Accept the past and keep going on to life even though how hard it is for now, always put in mind that everything has an end. And lastly, do not forget to be always thankful to the people behind your success.

This story has been published by the author at Rappler.com